It Ain't Small
by Nat1
Summary: Tyra’s only been at the afterroast party for forty minutes when she asks Tim if she can borrow his truck.


Tyra's only been at the after-roast party for forty minutes when she asks Tim if she can borrow his truck. He's three beers into his case and looks at her hard. She ignores it.

"Thought we were gonna have some fun. You know, as friends." His voice isn't sarcastic, but it holds an edge.

"I have something I have to do." Tyra looks away, doing her best to ignore his tone that matches his dark eyes.

"Can't hardly be friends if you ain't here, Tyra." She sees the jump in his arm muscle as he goes to reach out to her and stops himself.

"I'll be back Tim. I'll be half an hour, tops." She looks up as Matt and Julie come in. They both look upset but Julie has a death grip on Matt's hand so she ignores it. And ignores the look Julie gives her.

"You're going to see Landry." Tim throws his empty can into the trash and leans back in his lawn chair. "He sure has a crush on you."

"I know." She shrugs and moves slightly so he can't touch her when he reaches out to hand her his keys.

"What all were you two fighting about at the roast?" His eyes narrow when she moves away, but doesn't say anything.

"Nothing in particular." Tyra bends down to grab her bag and freezes when he lays his hand on the back of her neck, gripping her surely. She's done so well up till now, ignoring what she chooses, but she can't ignore this.

"You want me to come with you?" There's nothing in his voice except concern and she relaxes.

"I'll be alright, Landry's a good guy, Tim." She flashes her dimples and he nods letting his hand slide over her shoulder as she stands up. "I'll be back soon."

She puts her bag on her shoulder and quickly skirts the party, walking around the yard in the opposite direction of where she sees Julie. Matt catches her as she's opening the side gate.

"I'll walk you out." His voice makes her jump and swing around. "Hey, it's just me."

"I see that Saracen. _Jesus_! Don't sneak up on people in the dark like that." She shakes her hands like she's flicking water off them, trying to rid herself of the scare. Tim's keys jingle and hurt her knuckles.

"Sorry." Matt looks her direct in the eye and she can see that he knows but isn't going to say anything. "Are you avoiding Julie? She thinks you don't like her anymore and she could use a friend right now. There's a lot going on in her life."

"Yeah? Well she's not the only one. And no, I'm not really avoiding her. Before this afternoon I was avoiding _everyone_." She sniffs and looks away from the pity in his eyes. "Look, I'll be back in about half an hour. I'll talk to her then. Would that make you happy?"

"Yes. I'm still walking you to your car though."

Tyra rolls her eyes and lets Matt hold open the gate for her. She likes the quiet seriousness that seems to envelope him, he's standing taller and talking without his normal stutter and it suits him. In this moment she can see the man he's going to become.

She climbs into Tim's truck and winds the window down after Matt slams the door carefully behind her. She hates admitting it but she felt better with him walking her out front, she's grateful for it. "Thanks Matt."

He nods and turns to go back to the party and Julie. "You're welcome."

She winds the window back up and locks the doors after she starts the engine. It takes her ten minutes to get across town and pull up behind Landry's station wagon. It takes her another five minutes to get up the courage to unlock the door and get out of the truck to knock on his front door. It has nothing to do with the dark and everything to do with what Landry might say.

He opens the door in track pants and a screen-printed lemon yellow t-shirt of a band she's never heard of before.

"Hi."

He looks at her before nodding and moving aside to let her in. "Hi, Tyra."

He leads her into a room with a brown velvet couch that's falling apart, an acoustic guitar haphazardly leaning against it. The walls are wood panelling with shelves full of books and music. There's a desk and chair, both piled high with notepaper and school books. A laptop sits open on the coffee table in front of the couch where Landry sits to one side, gesturing for Tyra to sit next to him.

"You want a drink?" She can see it clear on his face that he doesn't want her here and that it's only Texas manners drilled into him over a lifetime that has him asking.

"No, thank you."

They sit in silence, Landry staring at her while she stares at the pile of books on the desk chair, waiting to see if they're going to fall or not.

"I need to explain. About Tim. And Me." She looks at Landry and he looks away, staring down at his bare feet while he fiddles with the guitar strings, making them sing softly.

"Yeah." His voice is non-committal and she knows he doesn't want to hear this, but she can't not tell him.

"I've known Tim Riggins since I was three years old." He looks up at that, surprised eyes glancing at her before looking away again as she continues. "I held Tim's hand every day in kindergarten snake lines. His father used to… Well, his dad used to know my dad."

"What does this have to do with me?" Landry flopped back into the lumpy old couch, facing her directly, unnerving her as he stared into her eyes.

"I need you to know, Tim and I… we're just friends. We were friends long before we were lovers." She sees him flinch at that and it makes her feel strangely old to use the word. "We're just friends Landry. I mean that."

He nods at her, relaxing into his slump. "Okay."

"But that doesn't mean…" Tyra trails off, not sure how to word what she wants to say without breaking him completely. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she doesn't want to give him false hope either. "It doesn't mean we'll stay just friends."

Landry crosses his arms over his chest and looks at her, sadness covering his face and she knows its not sadness for him, its for her. "Tyra…"

"No, Landry. It's high school. You get that right? It isn't the rest of my life and forever. With Tim and I… things aren't easy, but we have a past, we have history. And I know you don't understand. I know a lot of people don't understand. Most of the time I don't think even we understand what it is between us." Tyra shrugs as she runs her hand over the back of her neck where Tim had held her earlier.

"But what about-"

"No." She interrupts him. "With Tim and me? Maybe something will happen. Maybe nothing will happen. But with you and I? Landry, you're a great guy, a better friend than I ever thought I'd have or deserve. With everything you've done for me these past few days, I'm going to be eternally grateful, I really am. But I just don't feel for you what you feel for me. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Are you really? I don't think so, 'cause if you were sorry, you'd actually give us a chance, Tyra. You wouldn't leave this house and run straight back to Tim Riggins." Landry sits forward as he speaks and she looks away. "You know what that is? It's cowardice. You're a coward, Tyra Collette."

"If I were a coward, I never would have come here to start with." Tyra stands and shrugs again when Landry refuses to look at her. "I really am sorry, Landry, and I know you don't want to hear it, but I hope we can be friends, I really do. I'll see myself out."

She closes his front door with a soft snick of the latch, hurrying to Tim's truck. Talking with Landry had taken longer than expected. She'd told Tim half an hour and already it was forty minutes, but she wasn't ready to go back yet. Didn't want to see his dark assessing eyes or Matt's sad, serious face. Didn't want to have to talk to Julie and apologise for not answering or returning her calls.

Tyra turns the engine and puts the truck in drive, angling out from behind Landry's car. The headlights illuminate the road before her, the brakelights turning everything behind her red.

She knows that starting something more than friendship with Tim is a stupid idea, just like every other time it's happened. But she can't help herself, sometimes he looks at her in a particular way, or touches her _just right_ and she can't stop herself. Doesn't want to stop herself.

And more than that, he _is_ a great friend. He understands her and her situation, her family. He doesn't look at her with pity or disgust because her sister works in a strip joint or because her mother can't deal with daily life unless she's had her Prozac. He doesn't talk down to her because she's bleach blonde white trash. He doesn't try to humiliate and embarrass her and despite what Landry or any one else might think, aside from Lyla, he has never cheated on her.

And even if that was when they were broken up, it was still cheating because he knows how she feels about Lyla, because Lyla was Jason's girl.

Tyra drives in circles around Dillon, finally turning onto the street where the party is. She sees Tim standing on the curb with Matt and Julie. Tim has his case of beer under his arm that he slings into the back of the pick-up when Tyra pulls over to the curb. He knocks at the passenger side door and she leans over, remembering that she locked it.

She smiles out at Matt and Julie, trying to apologise without words. "You guys leaving already?"

"It's nearly ten on a Tuesday night. You know my parents and their curfew freak outs." Julie looks at her but doesn't smile, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Yeah, I know. Do you guys need a ride home? We can squish you in if you want." Tyra talks over the top of Tim who is sitting in the passenger seat between her and curb.

"Thanks, my dad is coming to get us." Julie pouts as car lights flash Tyra's eyes in the rear-view mirror. "Here he comes now."

"Okay, well, I'll… I'm sorry I haven't called. Can I talk to you tomorrow before classes?"

Julie gives her a tight smile and nods. "Sure."

"Okay, let me pick you up? Say, seven? We can have breakfast."

"Sounds good." Julie winces when her dad honks the horn behind them. "See you tomorrow. Bye Tim."

"Night." Tim drawls, nodding at Saracen.

Tyra watches in her mirrors as the car pulls out and does a U-turn, driving back the way it came.

"You want to tell me what's happening with you?" Tim's rough voice runs shivers up her spine.

"Not really. But I will, you'll probably find out soon enough anyways."

"I will?"

Tyra snorts out a small laugh. "Small town, Tim. Don't tell me you've forgotten already?"

"You normally couldn't give a shit what people say about you."

Out of the corner of her eye she sees him settle against the door facing her before she leans forward and rests her head against her arms on the steering wheel.

"I care Tim, but normally people just talk crap and small about me and it's not worth the effort of fighting. But this, it's nobody's business but mine." She sits up, eyes watering and turns to face him. "This ain't small, Tim and I need you as a friend. Can you be that for me?"

Hey nods, "Yeah, I can, Tyra." He reaches out and she meets him half way. Their hands clasping in the middle of the truck cab.

"Okay, good." She sniffs and wipes away a tear that escaped while she was talking. "You want to stay over tonight? As a friend, no sex."

"Can we sleep top-to-tail like we used to as kids?" He lifts a lazy smile in her direction.

She snorts as his smile widens. "And have your hairy, stinky feet in my face all night? No. You can sleep on the couch."

"Way to be a gracious host, you should at least let me have the bed or offer to share it."

She grins at him and lets go of his hand to restart the truck. She pulls away from the curb and he scoots over from the door, his arm and thigh settling against hers in a warm line. Comforting her on the drive as she thinks about what she has to tell him.

He rests a hand on her knee, giving it a slight squeeze before removing it again. She reverts to his childhood name that only Billy and Jay use now. "Thanks Timmy."


End file.
